A Hilarious Romp Through Genesis
By James Donahue
A website The Skeptic’s Annotated Bible, produced by Got Questions.Org, claims to be a scholarly examination of the New International Version of the Bible. What we found in the site's examination of text in the Book of Genesis alone was a delightful view of that story. It seems that the Biblical scholars examining Genesis perceive the book exactly the way we do; and they displayed a wonderful sense of humor in saying so.
In my years of Bible study I have recognized the Book of Genesis as a collection of ancient myths, created before there was much real scientific knowledge in the world, that attempt to explain the origin of the universe, the solar system, our world, the plants and animals, and humanity. The story is told from a monotheistic point of view, thus making the work of all creation the magical act of a single God.
There exist in Genesis two separate creation stories that, when laid out for comparison, are found to be filled with inconsistencies. Thus the authors of the Skeptic’s Annotated Bible found room for some hilarious lines and good natured humor.
They accomplish this by dividing their studies into 16 parts labeled: absurdity, injustice, cruelty, intolerance, good stuff, contradictions, science and history, family values, interpretation, misogyny, sex, prophecy, language, boring stuff, politics and homosexuality.
There are volumes of existing content in each of these topics, just concerning the Book of Genesis alone. Every book of the Bible is given the same topics of study and commentary by various scholars, all working under the direction of S. Michael Houdmann. Houdmann holds a bachelor’s degree in Biblical Studies from Calvary Bible College and a Master’s Degree in Christian Theology from Calvary Theological Seminary.
We offer a few brief examples of the kind of humor you will find in the Genesis portion of the work. But we cannot begin to do the site justice. We strongly suggest that you take the time to review the entire work to appreciate the detailed study and resulting humor that poured from the fingers of this gang of theological writers.
The very first chapter of Genesis falls under attack: “God creates light and separates light from darkness, and day from night, on the first day. Yet he didn’t make the light producing objects (the sun and the stars) until the fourth day. And how could there be ‘the evening and the morning’ on the first day if there was no sun to mark them?”
In verse five “God spends a day making light and separating light from darkness; then, at the end of a hard day’s work, and almost as an afterthought, he makes trillions of stars.”
From the tenth verse: “God created two magic trees: the tree of life and the tree of knowledge. Eat from the first and you live forever; eat from the second and you’ll die the same day. (Or that’s what God said, anyway.) Adam ate from the tree of knowledge and lived for another 930 years or so.”
In verse 11 “God makes the animals and parades them before Adam to see if any would strike his fancy. But none seem to have what it takes to please him. (Although he was tempted to go for the sheep.) After making the animals, God has Adam name them all. The naming of several million species must have kept Adam busy for a while.”
In the Fourth Chapter we have the story of Cain killing Abel. From the text: “Cain is worried after killing Abel and says, ‘Every one who finds me shall slay me.’ This is a strange concern since there were only two other humans alive at the time – his parents.”
Then “Cain knew his wife. That’s nice, but where the hell did she come from?”
The silliness continues throughout the study of the Book of Genesis. The final joke is found when you open the final topic: Good Stuff to be found. All you find is a single line: “There is nothing good in Genesis.”
By James Donahue
A website The Skeptic’s Annotated Bible, produced by Got Questions.Org, claims to be a scholarly examination of the New International Version of the Bible. What we found in the site's examination of text in the Book of Genesis alone was a delightful view of that story. It seems that the Biblical scholars examining Genesis perceive the book exactly the way we do; and they displayed a wonderful sense of humor in saying so.
In my years of Bible study I have recognized the Book of Genesis as a collection of ancient myths, created before there was much real scientific knowledge in the world, that attempt to explain the origin of the universe, the solar system, our world, the plants and animals, and humanity. The story is told from a monotheistic point of view, thus making the work of all creation the magical act of a single God.
There exist in Genesis two separate creation stories that, when laid out for comparison, are found to be filled with inconsistencies. Thus the authors of the Skeptic’s Annotated Bible found room for some hilarious lines and good natured humor.
They accomplish this by dividing their studies into 16 parts labeled: absurdity, injustice, cruelty, intolerance, good stuff, contradictions, science and history, family values, interpretation, misogyny, sex, prophecy, language, boring stuff, politics and homosexuality.
There are volumes of existing content in each of these topics, just concerning the Book of Genesis alone. Every book of the Bible is given the same topics of study and commentary by various scholars, all working under the direction of S. Michael Houdmann. Houdmann holds a bachelor’s degree in Biblical Studies from Calvary Bible College and a Master’s Degree in Christian Theology from Calvary Theological Seminary.
We offer a few brief examples of the kind of humor you will find in the Genesis portion of the work. But we cannot begin to do the site justice. We strongly suggest that you take the time to review the entire work to appreciate the detailed study and resulting humor that poured from the fingers of this gang of theological writers.
The very first chapter of Genesis falls under attack: “God creates light and separates light from darkness, and day from night, on the first day. Yet he didn’t make the light producing objects (the sun and the stars) until the fourth day. And how could there be ‘the evening and the morning’ on the first day if there was no sun to mark them?”
In verse five “God spends a day making light and separating light from darkness; then, at the end of a hard day’s work, and almost as an afterthought, he makes trillions of stars.”
From the tenth verse: “God created two magic trees: the tree of life and the tree of knowledge. Eat from the first and you live forever; eat from the second and you’ll die the same day. (Or that’s what God said, anyway.) Adam ate from the tree of knowledge and lived for another 930 years or so.”
In verse 11 “God makes the animals and parades them before Adam to see if any would strike his fancy. But none seem to have what it takes to please him. (Although he was tempted to go for the sheep.) After making the animals, God has Adam name them all. The naming of several million species must have kept Adam busy for a while.”
In the Fourth Chapter we have the story of Cain killing Abel. From the text: “Cain is worried after killing Abel and says, ‘Every one who finds me shall slay me.’ This is a strange concern since there were only two other humans alive at the time – his parents.”
Then “Cain knew his wife. That’s nice, but where the hell did she come from?”
The silliness continues throughout the study of the Book of Genesis. The final joke is found when you open the final topic: Good Stuff to be found. All you find is a single line: “There is nothing good in Genesis.”