The Valentine’s Day Card Exchange
By James Donahue
Valentine’s Day generates strange memories to me. I have little appreciation for Valentine’s Day cards and other false seasonal messages of good will that come in the mail. Let me explain.
I remember the teachers in the elementary school I attended making a big thing out of Valentine’s Day. We were given a list of the names of all of the children in our class and instructed to go home and prepare valentine cards for everyone.
The idea was exciting at first. My mother bought a package of low-cost little valentine cards with various greetings of love and affection. I carefully went through the list of names, preparing cards for everyone. When it worked the way it was intended, every child received an equal volume of love notes from all of the other children.
As we passed from grade to grade, and the personalities of various students became known, we stopped following the rules. We developed favorites. Thus some children were “accidentally” missed when we wrote out the cards. The less popular students sometimes didn’t receive many, if any cards at all. I began to dislike Valentine’s Day because it became a time of subtle bullying. It was a reverse form of expressing love for those around us. The students collectively used their refusal to send valentine cards to certain students as a way of letting them know that they didn’t have any love for them.
By James Donahue
Valentine’s Day generates strange memories to me. I have little appreciation for Valentine’s Day cards and other false seasonal messages of good will that come in the mail. Let me explain.
I remember the teachers in the elementary school I attended making a big thing out of Valentine’s Day. We were given a list of the names of all of the children in our class and instructed to go home and prepare valentine cards for everyone.
The idea was exciting at first. My mother bought a package of low-cost little valentine cards with various greetings of love and affection. I carefully went through the list of names, preparing cards for everyone. When it worked the way it was intended, every child received an equal volume of love notes from all of the other children.
As we passed from grade to grade, and the personalities of various students became known, we stopped following the rules. We developed favorites. Thus some children were “accidentally” missed when we wrote out the cards. The less popular students sometimes didn’t receive many, if any cards at all. I began to dislike Valentine’s Day because it became a time of subtle bullying. It was a reverse form of expressing love for those around us. The students collectively used their refusal to send valentine cards to certain students as a way of letting them know that they didn’t have any love for them.
I remember a distinct feeling of sadness when I saw what was happening. I found myself sensing the extreme disappointment expressed by the few that received almost no valentines. I began to fear that one year, I would be the subject of this same brutal attack by my classmates. And that was when I stopped enjoying the celebration of Valentine’s Day.
That experience may have been the beginning of my lifelong dislike of all card sharing. I determined that even the sending of birthday, Christmas, Easter and even get-well cards was always a poor substitute for expressing well-wishes in person.
The rising cost of buying these cards and then paying postage has only supported my disdain for card mailings.
Believe it or not, the negative Valentine’s Day cards pictured here reflect a time when people actually used this special day to mail hateful cards to people they disliked.
That experience may have been the beginning of my lifelong dislike of all card sharing. I determined that even the sending of birthday, Christmas, Easter and even get-well cards was always a poor substitute for expressing well-wishes in person.
The rising cost of buying these cards and then paying postage has only supported my disdain for card mailings.
Believe it or not, the negative Valentine’s Day cards pictured here reflect a time when people actually used this special day to mail hateful cards to people they disliked.